[RAMEN] 旭王 Kyoku-O and ホープ軒 Hope-ken (from April 18, 2002)

Ramen This Week: 旭王 Kyoku-O and ホープ軒 Hope-ken

旭王 Kyoku-O

[Our first guest review! Kekke-san on the miso ramen:]

The men was a few minutes over the preferred al dente, and rather characterless ("traditional" in a bad sense). The miso soup was good, strong presence of miso and fish broth, sprinkled with right dose of shichimi pepper. The absence of moyashi was a definite plus, as I've found them to sweeten and subdue the soup in many an otherwise-good bowl of Hokkaido ramen. Corn, on the other hand, is generally less damaging and Kyokuo had the right amount of it. The egg and charsiu were pretty good, but didn't have their own appeal to rise above the strong soup.

Overall, Kyokuo Miso was a solid above-average ramen, with nothing particularly wrong with it (except maybe the noodle). The flavor of the soup is definitely on the "shikkari" side, which I like; however, it overpowers other moderately flavored ingredients (charsiu, egg, etc.) and the only thing you come out remembering is the soup. Having said that, the soup IS pretty good, and I would go back to try Shio (w/ butter if they offer it) next time I'm in the Oyaji Wonderland [Shimbashi].

[Ditto for the shoyu ramen, although it was very salty.]


ホープ軒 Hope-ken

Like its close cousin at Ramen Jiro, this ramen is crude, unapologetic, and brutish. The overflowing, oily bowl -- don't touch it! -- grows stubby arms and legs before your very eyes and starts calling itself Buriburizaemon. Then Buriburizaemon takes you into a back alley, slaps you around and does all sorts of ribald and un-Christian things involving facial hair. And in the end, it won't even leave you with enough to catch the bus.

The soup: they spilled five barrels of this stuff at Tokaimura in 1999 and sixteen people died. Three unfortunate survivors -- having lost their noses, a few fingernails, and their personalities -- now work at Hope-ken. (Hey, if you want free smiles, go to McDonalds. Or that peppy little Oompa Loompa-looking guy at Starbucks with the short shorts on.)

The noodles have a squarish, Japanese soba-like appearance. But there is a noticeable lack of spring water or soda in the noodles, making them seem coarse and heavy while not remarkably chewy. Meanwhile, the almost obscured moyashi and carrots are good. The charsiu are decidedly average and can become rather tiresome. The sulphur bomb supahard-boiled egg should be avoided.

I really do enjoy this kind of ramen once in a while. On the other hand, Mrs. Ramen doesn't appreciate the mystery ramen nature of the place: since the ramen is prepared well out of your view, it's unclear exactly how much of your meal was inspired by the Cats and Roadkill Chinese Cookbook.

Incidentally, Hope-ken was a great chance to meet up with Ienaga-san and Suguri-san, the original Ramen Taicho. As always, I was speechless.


APPENDIX: Cultural Glossary

Oompa Loompa:




Buriburizaemon:

[RAMEN] でび Debi and Important Announcement (from April 9, 2002)

Ramen This Week: でび Debi and Important Announcement

This report forms Part XVI of our ongoing series, "Totally Rethinking Japanese Ramen Quality." An important announcement follows this report.

Apologies for the recent glut of reviews. I'm terribly backlogged.


でび Debi

We arrived in line 15 people deep and in the rain. As we painfully waited in line for some 20 minutes behind three certified members of the Dork Patrol -- who were desperately hungry after splitting their all-too-short day between the Chutes and Ladders Convention and the bi-monthly Tokyo installment of Magic: The Gathering -- I, too, felt like a loser.

The story behind this place is as follows: TV personality David Itoh cooked up some ramen for some media stunt. After being encouraged by the comments and praises of his equally inane peers, David announced that he would leave the celebrity world to earn his living as a ramen master. At first, the geinokai thought David was joking.

Let me tell you what the real joke is. This is ramen without any character or characteristics whatsoever. The soup is overblended and unenjoyable. The egg is completely underdone. The noodles are soft and slimy, covered with a filmy substance that forced me against my will to recall the unwashed and unshampooed head of my Ordinary Differential Equations TA in college. Meanwhile, Mrs. Ramen had the "Autumn" ramen to my "Spring." The "Autumn" tasted like ochazuke covered with a helping of plain oil drawn from old, bad garlic. Once home, Mrs. Ramen promptly punted -- heaved, welched, booted, what have you.

Too fancy for its own good, and not worth the wait. I promise that next time I will have something good to say for change.





ANNOUNCEMENT: For quite some time now, I have been considering exigency plans in the event that I fall short of realizing my childhood ambitions of fighting Martians or going back in time to meet the woman (?) who infected Schubert with syphilis. I also think that my original ramen recipe for a veal shank, torigara, and vegetable broth, coupled with charsiu broiled not boiled on the bone with a slight nod towards sweet and spicy Korean-style seasonings and sesame, and chewy chewy curly golden noodles, might stand a chance even in ramen-riddled Tokyo. Therefore, the name I have chosen for my ramen hut is

第六感 Dairokkan

(I will give some thought to dedicating one stool to a life-size Haley Joel Osment wax figurine, and possibly semi-realistic holographic images of American Revolutionary War-era soldiers with shrapnel in the head.)

I reserve the right to change my mind tomorrow. Comments and criticism will be appreciated.

By the way, here are the other names under consideration:

オレは人殺しなんかしてないよ！ Ore wa hitogoroshi nanka shitenaiyo!
友達以上恋人未満 Tomodachi Ijou, Koibito Miman
だったらどうすればいいの？ Dattara, dou sureba iino?
五十七っぱい Gojuunanappai

[RAMEN] Totally Rethinking Japanese Ramen Quality XV (from April 8, 2002)

Ramen This Week: Totally Rethinking Japanese Ramen Quality XV

This report forms Part XV of our ongoing series, "Totally Rethinking Japanese Ramen Quality." Important disclosures appear at the back of this report.


いっぷく亭 Ippuku-tei

We spent the larger part of Saturday touring Tochigi prefecture. However, maps and Mrs. Ramen most certainly do not mix, and as I watched the occasional giraffe and zebra go by I wondered if we hadn't somehow ended up in Kenya. Anyway, lured by the promise of its reputation for gyoza, we headed to the city of Utsunomiya for dinner. (We had originally thought about going to Imaichi city for ramen, but decided that it was likely that we would only be able to locate Imaichi ramen. [寒ー. . . ]) After securing a handy Gyoza Map of Utsunomiya -- I kid you not -- we selected our target: Ippuku-tei, with big, fat, and juicy dumplings . . .

. . . full of cabbage. These gyoza were pathetic. Was this a fair representative of Utsunomiya's esteemed gyoza cuisine? Even more abhorrent was the fact that they do yaki-gyoza and soup gyoza using THE SAME DUMPLINGS! Sure, the yaki-gyoza were crispy. And they lined up together on the plate. But I don't even remember what these things taste like. Perhaps that's the worst thing I can say.

Incidentally, we also ordered the ramen. I don't remember what this tastes like either. Nevertheless, I do recall having the following telepathic conversation with the cook at Seppuku-tei:

Ham: Did you even try?

Him: What?

Ham: This ramen.

Him: We serve that?

Ham: Well, it's right in front of me.

Him: Oh yeah . . . . No.

That's the last time I ask for advice from a cop. Charsiu was pretty good, though.





IMPORTANT DISCLOSURE: Don't go there.

[RAMEN] 6 Days of Ramen (from March 29, 2002)

Ramen This Week: 6 Days of Ramen

From Thursday to Wednesday, I had ramen almost every damn day.

Thursday: 天下一品 ･ 六本木店 Tenka-Ippin Roppongi
Friday: 西安刀削麺 Xi'an Toshoumen
Saturday: 西安刀削麺 Xi'an Toshoumen (again!)
Sunday: かおたんらーめん Kaotan Ramen
Monday: 茂助 Mosuke
Tuesday: [定休日] The Day of Rest (Thank God.)
Wednesday: 西安刀削麺 Xi'an Toshoumen (AGAIN!!)

But as I've noted before, Toshoumen is not ramen. Taking this fact into consideration, I therefore ate ramen only three times over that 7-day period, which is a completely normal pace. Furthermore, on Saturday and Wednesday I had half- and quarter- bowls. (I believe the restaurant expanded its menu of serving sizes to accommodate people like me whom Lindy ruthlessly refers to as "halfies.") Screw me for talking up a place and then being asked to go there fifty more times.

Everything else was rather unspectacular. No new places.


天下一品 ･ 六本木店 Tenka-Ippin Roppongi

The Tenka-Ippin formula for kotteri is well known. Tonkotsu and remarkably obvious torigara flavor reduced to a deadly gloop. As you pull noodles from the bowl, the thick gloop hangs on to the noodle for dear life. Perfect ramen for drunk bastards, because even if you knock the damn thing over you have about 10 seconds to right the bowl before anything actually spills out. Bad charsiu. Bad gyoza. Really bad "seasonal specials."

That said, the original Tenka-Ippin is heaven. The 本店 is in Kyoto, near the corner of Shirakawa-dori and Kitaoji. It is also across the street from the sculpture school of Kyoto Geidai, so you can make a day trip out of gazing at beautiful things. (Well, at least I did. I love art schools.) But what sets the honten apart is the strong torigara flavor. It's as if the purest essence of a whole chicken was strangled, hacked, mangled, folded in thirds, crammed, blended, melted, and liquified into your soup. Beak, eyeballs, feathers, nails and all. Fantastic.

By contrast, the Roppongi outfit is not very good. I suspect too much sesame oil makes the soup seem peanutty. Among the Tokyo outposts, I think Meguro is the closest in flavor to the honten. I have no idea what the Honolulu branch tastes like.


かおたんらーめん Kaotan Ramen

I guess I just don't get it. The noodles are nice, and it is a dandy place to swing by if you just so happen to be walking around the Aoyama graveyard with nothing else to do. But to me, this is just sour soup with roasted garlic. This is more plain than your first girlfriend. There is little in the way of depth, nothing in the soup that will force you to ponder the mysteries of the universe. I mean, just look at those guys behind the counter. They don't look like they've sat around stewing 24 hours of anything except their gambling debts.

And the gyoza is barf.


茂助 Mosuke

Speaking of barf-alicious gyoza, I hit this joint again -- some amateur friends of mine wanted to give it a try after they learned it was named to #22 on the Nittele scam list. Don't let it ever be said that I'm not fair.

Anyway, I've published my thoughts on this matter before. The gyoza is not barf. It's just far from spectacular. This time, I even tried a different soup, opting for the shio. Boring, boring, boring. This ramen was meant to complement Bloomberg seminars, morning research calls, and Emma Thompson movies. I almost fell asleep mid-noodle. I actually woke up in a rage later that night while having a nightmare about intensely boring ramen.

But again, the lunch set is very filling. And as long as this place attracts amateurs away from the places where I really want to go, I'm happy.




And a quick shout-out to Kekke-san, who has entered the world of marriage, hence calorie and sodium paranoia. Congratulations!

[RAMEN] 西安刀削麺 Xi'an Toshoumen (from March 22, 2002)

Ramen This Week: 西安刀削麺 Xi'an Toshoumen

After the Nittele special on Thursday night ranking the top 99 ramen shops (www.ntv.co.jp/ramen), there was no way we were getting out of a Friday run. First and foremost, however, it should be noted that I'm never a sucker for these TV shows, and last night's was flawed in at least two critical respects:

1. The show was organized along the lines of a voting system. Now this in and of itself is unobjectionable, since ramen is ordinary food for ordinary people (Tampopo). However, this system also rewards Disney Sea syndrome. The respondents themselves are more likely than not members of the Japanese population who inscrutably enjoy the comfort of waiting in line with 200 of their friends and neighbors. They do this with their kids so they can enjoy that one thrill ride per five hours at some pathetic theme park. And then after ramen they go wait in line at Beard Papa's to get some puffy buns with fatty s**t in it. It's also highly unlikely that after waiting in line for an hour that they'll cap their meal with a resounding exclamation of "that sucked." (Unfortunately, I tend to do that too often. In front of the cook.)

Also, as Abe Saori-san pointed out, Nittele didn't disclose its methodology, leaving us helpless in determining whether some good old Ferdinand Marcos ballot-stuffing was going on. In particular, looking at the Top 10 it seems like Nishi-Ikebukuro people lead very very boring lives. Good catch!

2. Nittele is a Yomiuri company, which means it's always a scam. See also: Giants, Tokyo/Kawasaki/Inagi Verdy, "news" paper.


西安刀削麺 Xi'an Toshoumen

So we hit #36 on the scam list, largely because of its proximity (Roppongi 6-8-17). This is not ramen. This is Chinese food. And it was good.

The spareribs noodles -- just like grandpa used to make. The spareribs are sparingly spiced, and the meat and fat fall right off of those adorable little bones. The broth is all about simple, brightly clear flavors with a mild amount of chili. The noodles themselves are grated and sliced and hurled from a solid block of zhang fan/chow fun/wonton wrapper fuwa fuwa joy. As a matter of fact, in some tribal cultures this solid block of fuwa fuwa joy is worshipped as the fertility god Chief Running Water.

Moreover, Xi'an Toshoumen obtained its respectable scam rating purely on the strength of its noodles. But, as Chris pointed out, if one were to rate it for the combination of noodles and teppan gyoza, Xi'an Tohoumen would skyrocket. This is real gyoza; in other words, there's stuff besides cabbage in it. I would go further, such as describe the wonderful crispiness in all the right places and the mere handful of bold and tasty fillings, but I'll leave these for Chris's purported attempt at writing a gyoza treatise.

You know, sometimes it's just good to be Chinese.

[RAMEN] 金龍菜館 Kinryusaikan and 砦 Toride (from March 18, 2002)

Ramen This Week: 金龍菜館 Kinryusaikan and 砦 Toride

This is going out in spite of Hideki Ishibashi's warnings. Man, this distribution list is getting big.


金龍菜館 Kinryusaikan

The theme for this week is simple, simple, simple. First of all, I have to comment on my visit to this honorable Mito (Ibaragi prefecture) establishment two weekends ago.

Kinryusaikan is the foremost proponent of Mito-han ramen. To put some historical context behind this, apparently Kyushu and Ibaragi have been warring for years over which is the Japanese birthplace of ramen. Kyushu's earliest example is a serving of chinese soba in a plain broth, which is about as close to the current state of ramen as the chimpanzee is to a human being. Ibaragi counters with a version brought to Japan by the legendary Mito Komon. (As a matter of fact, within Ibaragi's borders, Mito Komon is responsible for just about everything. He also discovered electricity, unearthed the lost city of Troy, sparked the American civil rights movement, and manufactured the first portable multi-region DVD player -- all after the age of 85!)

The Mito-han ramen at Kinryusaikan is presented in a wide but shallow bowl, with five small dishes organized somewhat decoratively carrying garlic, ginger, and spring onions, among other things. These can be added to your liking, which in my case means throw the whole damn thing in there. The noodles are standard but good, very smooth and yellow with ample firmness (there's something I like about that phrase). The charsiu is one nice slab that -- thankfully -- does not fall apart or melt away. The soup is a very simple, clear and extremely assari torigara broth with some pine nuts and those little red micro-tomato-looking things they put in Chinese food. By the way, the broth would be equally suited to the task of complementing some equally simple but delicious suigyoza (which would be only pork, nira, and onion); the extra order of Mito-han gyoza is a good substitute. This is suigyoza with a hint of ume -- a great idea.

I find this all very tasty. The flavors in every element are extremely subtle, but everything blends together quite nicely. Ironically, this kind of assari ramen is almost an acquired taste after the many dense bowls of tonkotsu and 55-ingredient boilfests one encounters in Tokyo. All in all, I like the place and have been there 4 times.

That said, the last time I went I had the tsukemen instead. But tsukemen is always lukewarm and I've never really liked it all that much. Stick with the regular.


砦 Toride

Toride is on the original list prepared by the TV Champion Ramen-O Assistant Professor guy from Tokyo University. I finally broke my 7-day ramen probation by walking into this good-looking and spacious wooden interior with some nice design accents, such as the artificial grasses shooting out from the middle of one of the dining tables. Nonetheless, in the Homer Simpson spirit of "less artsy, more fartsy" (from the Springfield Chili Cook-Off episode), we got right to ordering. On the menu you can get (i) a Toride Ramen, (ii) nori and moyashi, (iii) extra veggies and half-boiled egg, or (iv) the more meat. This ramen expedition of four people opted for one of each.

This is no-frills, milky white tonkotsu. This was one well-sized bowl of simple pleasure. Take advantage of the beni-shoga, tsukemono, and the garlic press (one medium-sized clove should be perfect). You can also select thickness and firmness of noodle, and I went with the firmer version of the standard thin noodle. This was right on, baby. The charsiu did not stand out by any means. Nonetheless, there is only one way I can only describe the wholesome feeling of walking back to the station after our meal:

Num num num num num.

It's not all that crowded, and looks like a nice place to hang back later at night. Beer and cocktails (?!) too. 神泉町 20-23. The professor wins again.

[RAMEN] 茂助 Mosuke and 一蘭 Ichi-ran (from March 11, 2002)

Ramen This Week: 茂助 Mosuke and 一蘭 Ichi-ran

On Wednesday, it had been 10 days since my last bowl (at the false Aoba in Nakano), and I was approaching manic depression. Therefore I swore off my usual Wednesday night antics and went hunting for something new.


茂助 Mosuke

My guess is that this is supposed to be one of those ramen places that is fine for a date. Wrong.

The place is spotless and beautiful, with 60s era jazz playing in the background (I think it was Chet Baker when I was in there). You can surely be thankful that you won't stink when you walk out of there. Then again, that's because you can't smell anything in there. That's what I call a bad sign.

I went with the standard offering, Mosuke Ramen with an onsen tamago on the side. The cook took his sweet time to give me a bowl full of a reliable but unimpressive soup, a nameless, faceless mix of tonkotsu, niboshi, and some other fish extract (also sesame seeds). The flavor was subtle but soulless. In fact, I think you could probably come up with something similar by accident using hondashi, shoyu, and sugar. But I'm just being mean; despite being unmemorable, the soup was in fact passable. The noodles had great color and a reasonably good consistency and chewiness, but the surface area of the noodles were "rougher" and more frictional than I like. These noodles too were tasteless, which matches up perfectly with the establishment's commitment to having no guts. In fact, there were too many noodles. I say they should take some of that stuff back and just make it a free kaedama option.

Gu: The charsiu was not good. The onsen tamago was a bit overdone, and didn't do anything with the rest of the ingredients. They also sell a kakuni ramen, but I have a hard time imagining how the kakuni would taste good with the broth.

Gyoza: I tried this. There was shiso in the gyoza. No thank you.

Other comments: Compared to a lot of the crap around the office, this joint was actually above average. But the bastard was damn expensive. However, what makes this place almost worth it is the lunch set, which is a Mosuke ramen, rice, a few pieces of gyoza, and some dessert for less than 1000 yen.


一蘭 Ichi-ran

We finally went to this gimmicky joint for Friday lunch. Kekke-san is still recovering (although he insists he liked it). Anyway, for those of you who haven't been watching TV in the last 2 years, this place is a collection of isolated booths, where you can be at one with your ramen. (They originally marketed themselves as a 女性が入りやすいラーメン屋. Give me a break.) As a result, you don't see anyone -- not the person taking your order, not the person making your food, not the person next to you.

It is also "your ramen" in the sense that you choose everything about it. You select the taste intensity of the soup and its thickness or gloopiness. You select how much hot pepper and garlic you want. You can select charsiu or not, negi or not. And you choose the firmness of the noodles.

The result is that there's probably some decent tasting pot of tonkotsu goodness somewhere in this gimmicky shop, but then they add all these things to it because you told them to. That's what screws it up, because none of these ingredients have been adequately integrated and incorporated into the broth. Nonetheless, I left just enough of this stuff so I could order a half-kaedama. Instead of the first time, when I ordered the noodles katame, I got these kihon. It was the same.

Anyway, the joint looks and tastes like something out of "Blade Runner." (Deckard didn't look like he was enjoying his noodles all that much either, mind you.) All told, however, you could do worse in Roppongi, and this place is open 24 hours.



P.S. I had some Mito-han tsukemen at 金龍菜館 in Mito yesterday, too. But the wife has put me on another 7-day ramen probation, so I'll have to get back to you guys on this one.

[RAMEN] Aoba in Nakano (from February 27, 2002)

Aoba in Nakano

This past weekend Eoyang gave me a ride in the Ferrari, so we went to get ramen at the supposedly world-famous Aoba in Nakano. Unfortunately, we made a mistake and went to the wrong Aoba in Nakano. I guess there are two. Weird, because the car navi in Chris's Ferrari said we were at the right joint.

Anyway, I don't know if any of you have been there but it wasn't very good. I know it wasn't the honten but I can't picture it being all that different. The soup was mostly katsuo and very very salty. Eggs were good, charsiu OK. The menma had too much goma-abura to it, don't know why. BUT THE SHOCKER IS they use noodles from a package! Can you believe it? Since they don't make their own fresh noodles, the noodles come out gloopy and slimy and not chewy at all.

From last Monday to this past Sunday, I ate 4 bowls of ramen (2 Tamagawa, 1 Jangara, 1 Aoba). I think I am going to die.

[RAMEN] Ramen-kai update (from February 19, 2002)

Ramen-kai update -- unwise use of firm network resources

I just went again for the second time (sorry Chris, couldn't find you in the office), and now I'm sure of it. Tamagawa in Meguro is great ramen. Except that if you start eating that thing expecting it to taste like ramen, you'll probably be disappointed. It seems that the broth is a unique mix of various seafoods and vegetables. At the same time, much like my other great favorite Takechan Niboshi Ramen (in Chofu, Jindaiji Moto-machi 5-chome) the soup is not at all stinky. Your basic shoyu broth here is indulgent and rich but the flavors are roundly balanced, without tasting fatty or greasy -- Chris likened it to bouillabaise, and I'm inclined to agree.

The noodles have a good koshi-koshi-sa and are close to what I think is optimal chewiness. Medium thickness. The combination of noodles and soup doesn't exactly glide through the lips, though, if you know what I mean.

Gu: The charsiu is merely okay. But those half-boiled ajitama are unbelievable; they practically have an orange glow around the yolk. Most importantly, the combination of the gu with the broth and the noodles is superior, and no individual flavor or texture seems out of place.

We also gave the sesame broth a try. This thing was extremely tasty, but I could imagine the soup becoming overwhelming over the course of an entire bowl.

Bonus: You can get beer in the ticket machine.

Location: Meguro, follow Gonnosuke-zaka down the slope, past the local Tenka-ippin. Keep following down the right side of the street, crossing to the other side by the pharmacy on the corner. Across the street from Ramen Tora.

[RAMEN] The Ramen Chronicles

Over the next several weeks, I will be posting every one of the Famous Original Ramen Chronicles (sarcasm intended) to djham.blogspot.com, in order. I began with short reports to a small handful of friends and connoisseurs in February 2002, but the email distribution list continued to grow until the first series' sign-off in March 2004. Some of the work at the beginning does not stand up to the writing at the end, and some of the writing at the end does not stand up to the stuff in the middle. Nevertheless I need to archive all of it somewhere.