[OTHER] Die, Sweaty Pig

On January 16, 2006, authorities raided Livedoor and the residence of its fatass, media whore president. My first encounter with this fraudulent company led by the evil personification of slightly wet farting came when in my tenure with my eminent previous employer. The criminality of what these bozos were up to was immediately evident not just to me, but to a lot of my colleagues. Well, at least the ones with IQs over 100. And in many conversations in the years since, I have explained to friends, co-workers, and unsuspecting taxi drivers my contempt for Japanese Cartman and, in case they were interested, the mechanics behind the wealth-amassing fraud machine. Now it would be overstating things to say that I foretold today's events, exactly, but that doesn't make them any less satisfying.

Hopefully, the pig will be dancing no more.



Unfortunately, duty prevents me from repeating my detailed hatreds in writing. As luck would have it, my first major project upon switching jobs involved Livedoor's kidnapping of NBS. And as we know, fatshit and company made out like bandits yet again in that caper. Gradually, I began to lose hope that people would get wise to this walking bag of liposuction aftermath. In fact, in a mild act of desperation, I was in the middle of planning a blog in Japanese on Livedoor's own site, tentatively entitled, "Horie-pig, I challenge you to fight me on New Year's Eve!" (「堀江豚、大晦日俺と戦って来いや！」） So really, Lard of the Flies has only the investigators and possibly his soon-to-be prison beyatch tormentors to thank for saving him from a widely televised ass-whooping.

I decided that I'd like to capture some of this historic moment on video. There are a lot of news programs, each one skewering Sweatpig as its lead story. What should I pick? I just set a reservation on my DVD recorder for the 11:00 PM TBS broadcast. (My initial preference was for a Nittele program -- according to people in the TV business, Horie once famously threw a tantrum while taping a TV show for Channel 4 when faced with a line of questions he didn't like -- but they're probably showing some SMAPpish thing instead.) I only wish that I'd remembered to do this back when he started crying in front of his shareholders' meeting.

Like Ice Cube said, today was a good day.